Chips! Chips and Smack!
I’ve been having a bit of a clear out today… Not only have I found a desk under all the junk that surrounds my computer, I’ve also found that I’ve actually lost my chromatic tuner somewhere, possibly Mars, and I’ve found a scrap of paper salvaged from an ancient copy of the Metro which I kept with the intention of writing this post six months ago.
Not only do we, as the general populace, bow to whatever the press say, we also attribute them with more power than we should allow to a multi headed consumer hydra with the power to change minds and bend wills. The story I plucked from the Metro (owned by the Daily Fear and Loathing, don’cherknow!) is about drugs in Manchester. The headline guaranteed to shock and awe and incite fear and hatred reads “‘Cheap as chips’ drugs fuel deaths”. You’d be forgiven for rushing to Manchester with your grubby fiver hoping to buy your weight in cheap drugs. I go to Manchester pretty often and I’ve never been offered any drugs… No one has even offered me a cigarette (They’ve certainly shaken me down for enough – much to my dismay!).
Apparently, in Manchester, “You can buy a bag of speed for £10 or £15. It’s as cheap as chips.” There’s some context needed to quantify this statement. How big a bag? Are we talking a baggie? or are we talking a 120litre pack? Silliness aside, I’d assume we’re referring to a baggie. Which makes for some expensive chips!
If I was paying £10-£15 for chips I’d want chips made from the first potato crop from a buddhist temple on the highest mountain in Tibet, tended only by the wisest monks. I’d want them slicing on a hand made knife from old Japan and I’d want them frying in the oil scraped from the breasts and buttocks of a well oiled Summer Glau! Anything else just doesn’t come close to warranting that price.
Clearly you can’t get drugs as cheaply as you can get chips in Manchester. Unless you consider the food coming from Turkish Dan’s Burger Emporium a drug… maybe some kind of version of aspirin with added potassium cyanide.
